Oh this time of the month. I know that 90% of the reason I feel this way is because of the time of the month it is. I know this. Does it make me feel any better? Nope.
I am bitchy. Why? Because I am a mom. I love being a mom. I love my kids. I love my husband and my life, animals, house, yard, job ect. I do. I honestly with all my heart do. Sometimes, however I do not so much love being a mom. Not today.
Mom is the one that everyone comes to. She (I) can be doing 12 different things at once, or heck She (I) does not even have to be HOME and she is supposed to somehow solve the problems of the world in the household. WHY does it always have to be mom? Why can't we take care of it ourselves? WHY cant we ask DAD for once?
I swear there is a button on my butt, as soon as I sit, the button is pressed and my kids MOM me. It never fails, it always pushes in, every time I sit... Sometimes it does get stuck in, and I get MOMMED even when standing, but it never fails to work when I sit.
Whats going on today? I had to take a kid to a doctor, work with a crazy boss (literally I think she might be going nuts) come home, take a kid to get her hair cut... This for some reason made the boy mad. So he was destroying the porch as I left.
I get home to find my pretty outside chairs, of which I once had three and up until today had 2 of, RUINED and sitting out by the curb for the trash man to pick up. A made of rubber chair. Green, with sunflowers. I bought them at a Goodwill store, its not like I can just pick another 2 up at walmart. RUINED. Leg AND arm ripped off. How do you even RIP off a arm and leg on a chair like that? I dunno, ask the boy he can tell ya.
And this. This set off my mood. WHY, can't I have anything nice EVER? I used to collect Noahs Ark things. Half of them were broken at one point or another (by my children) so I said forget it, until they were older I would not collect things. Apparently I need to wait until they are older than they are now even.
I know its just a chair. I know that. Big deal right... But dammit. Its MY chair. If your PO'ed break your own crap. Don't break my crap. So then at dinner, the one time I NORMALLY get to sit down w/o being MOMMED Hannah chooses to show her ass, and start hitting and throwing food, as if that is allowed? Uh no.
Then of course Tim has to get shitty with EVERYONE at the table when really Hannah was the only one showing ass, although I guess the girls were instigating a bit even so. I don't know. I am just frustrated, and tired, and I am sick of doing everything. I don't really do everything, but some days I feel like I do everything, and I hate it.
You know what I want, I want to do nothing. For a whole day. I want to be my cat, he can take my place and wait tables and cook dinner, while I sit around, in the sun, meow a bit, eat, and sleep.
I am frustrated with Christmas. I hate it. I want to be able to just go crazy and buy my kids all the things they want and I really want to be able to get them the things that they need, but that is just not possible, and I hate that. I hate having to ask for help and I hate getting the help, I mean I appreciate it, but at the same time I hate it, I hate the fact that we have to ask for help, that we need help. I hate that we are not supporting ourselves the way we should. I hate the fact that it seems like we bought a house and then started asking for handouts. I hate that my husband lost his decent job and now has a shitty one. I hate that he does not seem to really want to do anything about changing that, and I hate myself for not just saying what I feel to people.
So there it is. My bitchy blog. I warned about this in yesterdays blog. I felt it coming. Its not over yet. I am certain of that.
I am bitchy. Why? Because I am a mom. I love being a mom. I love my kids. I love my husband and my life, animals, house, yard, job ect. I do. I honestly with all my heart do. Sometimes, however I do not so much love being a mom. Not today.
Mom is the one that everyone comes to. She (I) can be doing 12 different things at once, or heck She (I) does not even have to be HOME and she is supposed to somehow solve the problems of the world in the household. WHY does it always have to be mom? Why can't we take care of it ourselves? WHY cant we ask DAD for once?
I swear there is a button on my butt, as soon as I sit, the button is pressed and my kids MOM me. It never fails, it always pushes in, every time I sit... Sometimes it does get stuck in, and I get MOMMED even when standing, but it never fails to work when I sit.
Whats going on today? I had to take a kid to a doctor, work with a crazy boss (literally I think she might be going nuts) come home, take a kid to get her hair cut... This for some reason made the boy mad. So he was destroying the porch as I left.
I get home to find my pretty outside chairs, of which I once had three and up until today had 2 of, RUINED and sitting out by the curb for the trash man to pick up. A made of rubber chair. Green, with sunflowers. I bought them at a Goodwill store, its not like I can just pick another 2 up at walmart. RUINED. Leg AND arm ripped off. How do you even RIP off a arm and leg on a chair like that? I dunno, ask the boy he can tell ya.
And this. This set off my mood. WHY, can't I have anything nice EVER? I used to collect Noahs Ark things. Half of them were broken at one point or another (by my children) so I said forget it, until they were older I would not collect things. Apparently I need to wait until they are older than they are now even.
I know its just a chair. I know that. Big deal right... But dammit. Its MY chair. If your PO'ed break your own crap. Don't break my crap. So then at dinner, the one time I NORMALLY get to sit down w/o being MOMMED Hannah chooses to show her ass, and start hitting and throwing food, as if that is allowed? Uh no.
Then of course Tim has to get shitty with EVERYONE at the table when really Hannah was the only one showing ass, although I guess the girls were instigating a bit even so. I don't know. I am just frustrated, and tired, and I am sick of doing everything. I don't really do everything, but some days I feel like I do everything, and I hate it.
You know what I want, I want to do nothing. For a whole day. I want to be my cat, he can take my place and wait tables and cook dinner, while I sit around, in the sun, meow a bit, eat, and sleep.
I am frustrated with Christmas. I hate it. I want to be able to just go crazy and buy my kids all the things they want and I really want to be able to get them the things that they need, but that is just not possible, and I hate that. I hate having to ask for help and I hate getting the help, I mean I appreciate it, but at the same time I hate it, I hate the fact that we have to ask for help, that we need help. I hate that we are not supporting ourselves the way we should. I hate the fact that it seems like we bought a house and then started asking for handouts. I hate that my husband lost his decent job and now has a shitty one. I hate that he does not seem to really want to do anything about changing that, and I hate myself for not just saying what I feel to people.
So there it is. My bitchy blog. I warned about this in yesterdays blog. I felt it coming. Its not over yet. I am certain of that.
No really...tell us how you really feel...lol.
ReplyDeleteIt is almost time for our newly formed annual trip, so you can do nothing when we go, I promise. We just have to decide where we are gonna go.
Oh btw, thanks for the warning...now I can warn my kids that I'm gonna be a little moody. LOL!!!!