The oddly normal life of Clorie

So technically she's eleven, but since the day she was born I told her to stay my baby....so at nine I finally put an end to her getting any older. What can I say about this child. My last child. My baby. Hannah was in a rush to get here, after only about 4 hours of labor..She hasn't seemed to slow down yet! She was standing along furniture by 5 months, walking alone by 9. She saw her big brother and sissies doing things, and she wanted to do them too. She's eleven today. I still remember her being small enough to hold in my arms, lay on my chest, and bite her little buttcheeks. Today she's wearing training bras, mascara and sometimes lipgloss. She has friends without me,  sleepovers,  and secrets mommy doesn't know. She's a preteen for heavens sake!  I can't even type that out without tears. My baby,  is a preteen. Hannah is a super smart child, school AND street wise. She's opinionated and will certainly correct you if your wrong and argue wi

Often times I just blog away about things on my nerves ...seldom do I think to blog about better things.  So today I'm blogging some positive things...about my beautiful children. First my birthday girl,  hannah. I always give my kids money for thier birthdays. Hannah knows things are tight right now,  and told me she was okay with not getting her birthday cash. 11 years but far more mature. Then Destiny ... were having a "cookie party " on Sunday and I was telling my friend that I was going to have everyone bring some powdered sugar and maybe food color to help out. Destiny went to the store...bought a pack of both (and me a diet coke). Bailey has been struggling in school...and mentioned that he'd like to stay after class for tutoring. Daddy said he'd look into that for him....but today he rode his bike to school and stayed after for tutoring all on his own. He also got all his missing assignments turned in. Promise. Well Promise is usually just an awesome

FINALLY school is back in session, after 5 snow days. As you can imagine everyone is a little off schedule. After a bit of coaxing (and possible drugging)  I was able to get all the kids tucked into bed only about 20 minutes late. 10 minutes or so after the boy was laid down. With three dogs to keep him warm...he came out and sat at the kitchen table explaining "bosco let two good ones go... I'm going to sit out here until the fog clears." For a moment I just sat there, then when curiosity got the better of me I wondered outloud "with all 3 dogs in your bed,  how can you place blame on bosco? " "I SNIFFED ALL THREE OF EMS BUTTS. IT WAS BOSCO! " Sometimes things are better left unknown. Wow...

Ice age was the movie on TV. I told hubby Me: hey babe its your best friends favorite movie! Hubby: what best friend? Me: you know who! Hubby: your my best friend. Me: melting....I wanna snuggle!  Yeah mostly he irritates the crap outta me, but not tonight. I love him tonight ;)

Feels food...really good...when you've worked your butt off to provide for your family.  You look back and you see....sure we might not have it all,  but we've got a roof over our heads,  food on our plates,  love in our hearts. Were doing even better than that though!  We have hot water for showers clean clothes warm blankets cable TV and even Wi-Fi and cellular service. So even though we don't have it all...we have much, so much to be thankful for. Then you get on Facebook and see your child begging for someone to "save her" as she can't stand another SECOND in "this place". Ahh yeah, love you too.  Tomorrow while your soundly sleeping in on this the 3rd snowday and I am begging my boss for extra hours so I can pay for this "hell hole " you hate ....ill smile ....because I know one day... your gonna miss this.

This family came in today. Their little boy,  looked to be about 3 or 4. I told him that I liked the monkey on his shirt.... "Thank you ma'am....but actually, its an ape. " lmbo!

After getting up late (snooze button my best friend/worst enemy)  working 5 hours I thought I'd stop by the grocery on my way home. Its the day hubby and I met (14 years ago)  and I thought I'd get him flowers....and I needed salad to go with dinner. As I walked in...a nice looking young man nodded my direction and said hello. I smiled and nodded back. As I walked off I thought I heard him say something so I turned around....he was walking up to me. He asked me my name then told me his (Mario if it matters)  and told me how CUTE I was as he reached out a hand to shake. I smiled, shook his hand and thanked him for the compliment. He then asked what he could do,  to make it so that he could see me again sometime .... I'm married I told him. Of course you are...your too cute to NOT BE!  he said. I thanked him again,  for making my day! And got my salad and flowers for the love of my life....whom I met today 14 years ago! 

So bailey was trying to swap out the pedals on his bike,  he striped the screw and needed his daddy's help. Tim was all....what's all over your bike bailey? "Cooking spray " what?  You don't use cooking spray on your bike.  "Oh well mom told me it might help" bailey said. Oh....well go get it for me then.  Hahahaha.

Since I had my first child my whole world has revolved around them. Everything I've done was with their comfort safety and happiness in mind. When getting a job. Made sure the hours were so I didn't miss out on time with them. Buying a car made sure it was safe for them. Would fit them proporly.  Our home. Made sure it was close to everything we needed..... large enough for everyone's comfort. Had enough bedrooms. My paychecks. Maybe I need new jeans....if the kids need em. Guess who gets them first? Every detail of my life revolves around the kids FIRST. As it should be. I am a mom afterall. I don't mind them being first. When I however am told BY THOSE children that they are put last,  or I am Taken for Granted for aall that I Do....well it sucks. Motherhood sometimes SUCKS. HOWEVER ill keep on keeping on. With the promise from other mothers before me that "one day" ill be appreciated. Although I will probably be too mentally exhausted by then to care.

Not the elldest. The boy.  Go figure. It actually ended well...and he told me on his own that tomorrow he's apologizing to her. Today was a crazy full day. I'm glad today is over. 

 Ya know. I fly off the handle. I say dumb shit. I have cussed at my kids. They sometimes stay up too late. I yell, Ive spanked and I've handled things incorrectly so many times I don't remember half of them. I was thinking about it today when I once again flipped out on them... They were being bratty brats and I am stressed out... and I took it out on them, yelling and telling them they were ungrateful and just how stressed I was, and why... Which is not their problem its mine. Either way its what I did. So I calmed down... Put my big girl panties on and took them all over hell and back to do all the things that needed done this very busy Thursday afternoon. I was at the hair place, when I realized... Ya know I am not the most horrible mother there is. Im not even a bad mom.  We are broke. Super broke. Like negative balance in the bank... BROKE... None the less... My kids had supper on the table.... They have a roof over their heads... They are clean... They are HAPPY (Asi

  You know the way a girl gets when she turns 17... Kinda crazy.  A quote from a song. Never knew how true it could be. When I was 17 I was a mother to an 1 year old baby girl. I never knew when that baby girl was 17 my life, would suck. Or seem to suck. Or her life sucks and it makes mine suck? I don't know how it sucks or why but it does.  I might not have the best of all things. Like I said I was a young mom. I have worked, and worked HARD to get where I am today. Yes I was on assistance, yes I still am being assisted. There are times I have to get a loan from my mother to buy something unexpected. Yes my in laws loaned us money to buy our van 2 years ago and were still paying them back when any actual car place would have repossessed  the damn thing by now. Yes I've went to food banks, and I shop at Goodwill. But I have NEVER stolen or lied or cheated my way into anything.  I  might be "just a waitress" but I always do my best. I work hard and I am thankful

A big hairy messy life. Don't get me wrong I'm thankful. I realize I have what others don't. I have a home a family a full belly pets and a job. I. Have a couple awesome friends and that makes me a millionaire by a lot of standards. At the same time,  I have an oldest child. Someone whom I dropped everything for. I stopped living my life as I knew it...and became "mom" for. Tell me today she doesn't want to live at home. Hates it in fact....and just being here daily laying in her bed....eating food that's been prepared for her...not worrying about a thing but getting up going to school.and. catching tthe bus home...some how just the sheer thought of those things ....DEPRESSES HER. Of course knowing your child would rather live in a gutter,  than your home,  always makes you feel obligated for a mom of the year trophy.  "Thank you,  and. Thanks to my family for making it possible" What the hell do I do?  How do I NOT hold myself responsibl

Not really...I know that it could have been worse. My family is safe and healthy and alive.... it was just this day where everything seemed to be shitty. Was up late. 5am a cat wakes me up to be let in...almost back to sleep....ANOTHER CAT crying at the window. Feels like I just fell back asleep and the alarm goes off...like always I hit snooze....only apparently I didn't hit snooze because I wake up when I'm normally leaving for work. Get to work late, obviously. No coffee no breakfast. Bosses son exclaims how he can tell I had just woke up. Get set to work and spill freezing cold water down my bra....who needs coffee?! After that I think....everything's gotta look up from here! Grill out have a friend over ....go to fireworks ....forget my phone. Can't. Find parking....skim a storage pod thing with my passenger side door.... get. Giant headache. Finally park....get to fireworks have to pee....wait in a 30 min line....my stall has no paper. Yup. NO PAPER! almos

Cats hairballs are more like hairtubes. 

Sometimes, in the store,  or driving down the road....ill see someone who looks like him....or a yellow truck like his. For a split second I think is that ....and then I realize it can't be. I hate it. Its like losing him again. Making tamale pie for tomorrows dinner. I wonder if he ever tried it. I'm certain he would've told me about it. I wish I could run down the road and let him have a slice.  I haven't blogged in a while. Life has changed quite a bit...things are still crazy as ever....life still goes on!

For 3 days now,  clothes that should be hung have been draped over a bedroom chair....so instead of *nagging* or *bitching* I asked my hubby....are we running low on hangers?  No.  He says....ah....I thought maybe we were since those clothes were still sitting there. Since this is MY husband I'm talking about I began to think he didnt get my subtle hint ...so I said I know were not low on hangers....that was a hint. Oh I know it was....he said. Well at least clothes were hung today (finally)

So saturday night, or early sunday morning depending in how you look at it...Let's say nearly 4am. Sound asleep in bed, as most are at this hour. Suddenly the doorbell rings and our dogs if course start barking like idiots... We get up. I stand viewing distance from the front door as Tim let's the barky ones out back.  He doesn't rush but gets to the door which has not had a knock nor ding since the initial wake up call... Open the door. No one's there. I turn on the porch light so whomever knows were up at this point if they would like to knock again. nothing. Wake hannah up the next morning, well 4 hours later... she was freaking out.  She had slept with her phone in the bed with her, and apparently dialed 911 (emergency call button)  while sleeping.  So apparently that one ding at 4am was police coming to make sure we were safe... I feel secure.

A weekend or so ago, bailey had his friends over and they had taken apart the fan, and they were sticking things in it. I gave them motherly advice on how the protector was over the blades for a reason...and they could lose a finger .... nah-ah bailey says as he stopped the blades with his hand. So I made them put the fan back together ....and took it from the room. Well tonight they decided I guess to ignore my motherly advice...and stuck a SHARPIE in it....yes Sharpie went everywhere ...I asked what daddy was doing while I wss away to have not stopped such a thing...he was laying in bed....sigh. Moments later I walk towards Bailey's room as he's running from the fan, screaming holding his hand.  Sho' nuff he's cut his damn thumb.  Of course I use this moment to remind him "I told you so". I'm a woman ill use that phrase every possible chance I've got. He's alright. He shall survive. A band aid. Some tears. Some hugs and an ibuprofen later....h

 I remember when my kids were little and innocent and said super cute things. It still happens sometimes, but not nearly as often. They no longer pitter patter, they clomp. Things change, kids grow.  Luckily I still have my little neighbor girl Adriana. She comes over to play with the big kids quite often and is almost always a hoot. From taking her to the "lime berry" to just silly things she says. Tonight was one of those nights.  I have not slept much and wanted a nice relaxing bath... As I am headed in there, Adriana asks me what I am doing... I tell her I am about to take a bath. "can I take one with you?" Uh.... I have  a vision of myself as Micheal Jackson...No baby, you cannot take a bath with me.... So I am in the tub, and after a while Tim came in to bring me towels... So he was in there visiting with me, and Adriana knocked and asked if she could come in... Tim told her no. "Why? Because Clorie is NAKED??? What are YOU doing in there TIM!?"

I know I've been aa Debbie downer blogger. So today my van took a shit. Not sure yet what's wrong ... all I'm sure of is it sucks. I had to wait 2 hours for a tow. However, I see the bright side. I wasnt stranded on the side of the road...I have free tow coverage through my insurance,  they took me home too,  and I actually have the money to fix whatever is wrong without begging, or using credit! So I'm feeling a little stressed, and overly emotional despite the good and bad of today. Oh another plus .... my mom got a new puppy!  Lucy.

I was told today by one of my children...I do nothing for her. this prompted me to compile a quick list- just what I can think of off the top of my head. Lets see well start with ★ carried you inside my own body for 9+ months. Eating well,  sleeping well, not drinking or smoking and ttaking vitimans that made me gag. ★ THIRTY SIX HOURS of labor and pushing...your head by the way was OVER the 100 percentile in size (larger than most) ★ I awoke every time you did, for at least 6 months that was more than once per night. ★wiped your butt. Changed your clothes. Cleaned your vomit. ★ Dr visits. One well ccheck per year, not to mention ER visits in the middle of the night when Dr was closed ★ taught you to walk, talk, count, your body parts, animal sounds, numbers, answered all your "why's" (there were a lot! ) ★signed you up for sschool. Made sure you were dressed fed and ready. Worried if you remembered your lunch code, did you make friends, were kids being nic

Collecting dust on the wall. Everyday they walk right by me, and dont realize I'm there at all. When your kids are babies... their parents are their everything the universe the air they breathe. When your kids start to gain independence they also begin to have their own ideas, thoughts and want to be in control. You are no longer what makes the earth turn, they realize this and forget, that even though you are not the air they breathe ....you brought them into this world....you care for them wwhen they are sick,  love them when they tell you they hate you,  that you feed them and work your butt off every day to provide a roof over thier heads and many more needs. They just hear no they can't get new shoes today and think your horrible. Like you just don't understand. I don't. Day in and day out id love to sleep in. I get up and go to work. My feet ache, id like to sit. I make dinner do laundry clean house and run them all over town.  Im tired and would like to go

Oh the joys of having more than one child. Being an only child myself I do not for one moment understand how you can have such hatred for someone one moment say such hateful and rude things...then. moments later share secrets and giggles when you should be sleeping. So today child one worked 9 hours. I am sure she was worn out. Child two had homework she neglected to consider all weekend until 945 pm Sunday night. So as child one was hopping into bed child 2 was flicking on the light. The ceiling light is too much for sleepy child....homework child insists bedside table lamp is just as bright,  but doesn't want to "waste " the bulb. Sleepy then stands in front of ceiling light switch to keep procrastinating child from turning on light. So to recap,  sleepy is NOT sleeping and procrastinating child is STILL procrastinating. Neither listens to my reasoning. If both lights are the same value of brightness what should it matter to. Homework doer?  If you must stand and gua

Hannah was in the back seat on the way to take daddy to work ....being quite quiet...."I'm counting the licks on my Tootsie pop...I'm at 202 so far! " Ended up being 367 licks. Now the world knows. Thank you hannah for your patience and dedication.

I have not blogged. Not because there has not been bloggable things...I'm a mom,  waitress,  friend, cook,  taxi,  and nurse all at once....and there are only 24 hours in a day ...8 of Which I like to waste sleeping! Life has been life. Kids get along but fight over the silliest things. Tim drives me totally insane then I miss him the second were apart.  I feel like I never have a moment to myself and then as soon as I get one... I feel lonely. I love my job, and wish I was a billionaire who didn't ever have to work again. Sounds like life to me!

If they were real nails...I'd have already chewed them all off. Tomorrow is a day of unknown. I'm scared, and empowered and also hopeful for what it will bring.

First life was better than expected. I figured Sunday would be a giant fight. It was not however. As you can see...even the cats got along! Today. I got new shoes. 2 pair! They were on super sale! Next I'm really gonna join the gym. I swear!

This girl right here is a cool kid. She's beautiful, inside and out. Today she turned 14 years old! Happy birthday to my favorite 14 year old!

The whole day today was stressful. Beginning with my child's text she was not attending school today. And ending with a busy all at once day at work. I do feel like I am doing what's right even though it currently feels so wrong. I got a compliment to my boss from his boss. Its always nice when you do your best and someone notices. Wishing myself luck because the night's not over....and it could get suckier, although I hope not.

Tonight I worked and Tim was off. He's such a good housewife. I came home to an already made and kept warm plate of food....AND the kitchen clean AND a nice warm fire in the fire place. I'm a lucky lady!

Bailey told me that he told his daddy "when I get married I'm not going to let my wife boss me around like mama does you." Daddy (the smart man he is) said well then bud ..you won't be married long!

There's nothing like the warmth of our woodstove on a chilly winter night. Nothing compares to that nice low gas bill either ha! Today was a nice busy day at work. Everything ran smooth. I got groceries after work and kept the house clean (thanks to the kids being gone at school all day) Today was a nice day, but after going to bed around 1am and getting up at 7, im ready to call it a night.  Sweet dreams!

I'm very lucky to have my inlaws. They've taken me in...and my girls and treated us as though we've always been family. They help us out on so many occasions,in so many ways. Also my husband who used his day off to spend chopping loading and hauling the wood. My kids who jumped right in to help unload! I got the wood stove all dusted and decluttered and I'm ready for a nice warm fire (and for the gas heat to not run 24/7!

Lately things have been a bit insane around the house. I needed time out of my house. So I called up a friend, and invited myself over! Fixed dinner,  drank a little,  played Mario and chit chatted. It was a very nice evening :-)

Technicaly its day 5. Last night was horrible with my boys drama. Who knew boys could do this crap too! So after a long night with the drama boy...and a busier than usual split shift at work.  I am. Tired.  I also feel very blessed today .to have earned the money I earned today and for my family and friends. For my home and heat and for love.  Last but not least...my bed!

Look for me and a book in the branches of this beautiful tree.  I just live this tree. There are several like it around it...and recently they've chopped some down.  I hope they save this one. I've been wanting to take pictures of it for a while now an thought today was a good day to do that! Not sure why I like the tree so. Much. It reminds me of one on poohbear....that Christopher Robin would sit in and read. The branches are just right,and in the summer, the leaves would make you hardly noticeable.  Peace and quiet!  Too bad the tree is by a very busy street. Add in headphones to drown out the city!

My skin is really clearing up. I'm 3 weeks in on humira today. My head face and ears are clear! This is me without makeup!

2012 brought good and bad. As most years do. I can't complain too much...but I do anyway. I'm good at complaining. Ask my family! So with this new year I want to be a better mom. Better wife and just be a better person all around. Eat healthier lose weight of course. I hope that the humira I am on will work well and that I can feel good in my own skin. I hope that I can appreciate life and family and friendships just a bit more. I also want to blog a daily photo diary type thing to track my year....yes I know I never get far with this...but maybe, just maybe 2013 is my year!