Sounds like life to me.

A big hairy messy life.

Don't get me wrong I'm thankful. I realize I have what others don't. I have a home a family a full belly pets and a job. I. Have a couple awesome friends and that makes me a millionaire by a lot of standards.

At the same time, I have an oldest child. Someone whom I dropped everything for. I stopped living my life as I knew it...and became "mom" for. Tell me today she doesn't want to live at home. Hates it in fact....and just being here daily laying in her bed....eating food that's been prepared for her...not worrying about a thing but getting up going to school.and. catching tthe bus home...some how just the sheer thought of those things ....DEPRESSES HER.

Of course knowing your child would rather live in a gutter, than your home, always makes you feel obligated for a mom of the year trophy. "Thank you, and. Thanks to my family for making it possible"

What the hell do I do? How do I NOT hold myself responsible for the fact that my nearly grown child ....the one about to set foot out on her own....to be a real Member of Society....cares about no one but her own self?

To come to me....and tell me she's PREGNANT to try to get her birth control removed, are you SERIOUS. HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MANY PIECES OF MY HEART I HAD TO PICK UP OFF THE GROUND when I thought the story to be true? Or how much of a FOOL I felt when I knew it wasn't? I'm acctualy pretty sure I never fully believed the story anyway. How horrible is THAT?! To be a mother and not believe your own child?

I'm at my wits end. Honestly at the end of thr rope. There's an alligator pit down there and letting go seems like an easier solution than trying to hang on.

Comments

Its not always 50/50

Sometimes one person has to hold up more weight than the other does. Lately I feel as though I am that person holding the extra weight. Lately I have been wishing I was not that person. I feel like I am being spread a bit too thin... I also feel like no matter how many times I try to explain myself, it does not matter. So I will just keep waiting, and hopefully eventually someone will come and take a few books off of my stack. Take a load off. Help me out. Chip in. You get it? I am sure you do. Now if only other people did as well. God doesnt give you more than you can handle. I wonder sometimes if He thinks the load he's giving me is being more evenly distributed than it is... Maybe he can review my case :)

8 years at the same job!

I will say this about my work. No matter what is said, word gets around. Words also get twisted and changed, and rumors fly like well I don't know kites? I think co-workers are like a second family, not like to the point where you want to invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner... More like your around them enough that you are more than likely to have seen a bad side of them, and learned some annoyances. Chances are they were grumpy or depressed or pissed at some point and you have seen them at their worst. I think that makes it easier to get under each others skin and become annoyed. You get annoyed, you get over it, you move on. Your still co workers and you still get through. Like family, there are spats, you get over it move on and after it all your still family. So do I always love my co workers or getting up early, or when someone is rude to me, or when I don't make any money... OF COURSE NOT. I have good days and I have bad days. Today it was raining, I would have ...

The Lady In Red

T he Frisco festival was this weekend. Fun times. Free rides, well this year half the rides were free. A band playing live and just fun all around. We always go of course, any time anything is free, were there! Since we are not cool Destiny went with some friends and not us. Bailey was staying the night with a buddy so the 2 girls that were home, I told could bring a friend... Fun times. At one point they were waiting in line for a slide/funhouse ride, after a certain point of waiting in line they were finally up to the part with the sign: At the bottom the sign says "If you are in the red sorry you cannot ride the ride" Hannah is standing there, and she is looking quite concerned after a while... She looks at me and she says "mama, Lauren cannot ride this ride." then she points to the sign. Oh yes, Lauren is VERY MUCH so over the green line... Heck Lauren is taller than Hannah so I am thinking what is your deal girl??! Hannah then looks ...

The oddly normal life of Clorie

Search This Blog