The oddly normal life of Clorie

 I wonder about God. I wonder how everyone says "God will never give you more than you can handle" I have been given some hurdles in life, and sure, I got through them, but did I really handle them the way they should have been handled? Sometimes I am pretty sure, even though I made it through, it was indeed more, than I could handle.  The main example of this. My children. Four. Seriously? God? Did you really see in me, someone with the patience for four children? Some days, no, that is a lie, MOST days, I do not feel worthy. Most days I am certain I have failed somewhere  Somehow every day I make a mistake, sure sometimes its a small one, but sometimes its a major one and I wonder... What was God thinking???  I just hope I guess, on that day that I make my way to the top (I hope I go to the top) that God explains to me exactly what his plan was for me, and I hope he tells me I got it somewhat right, even though I felt like I was messing up 90% of the time.  So tonig

 My boo. Bailey-Boo our little nickname for him once he grew out of the "monkey toes" he had as a newborn.  Bailey was born on a very stormy afternoon. Thunder was going on outside, and there I was stuck in a hospital bed, watching a baby story on TLC which the nurses all called me crazy for. Call me crazy all you want, birth, giving birth and just the idea of it, is awesome to me. Giving birth myself I still cannot believe that a new life, was created from within my own body.  Bailey was born sound asleep. After some complications with his oldest sister, not hearing him cry made me a bit nervous. "Why isn't he crying?" I asked a bit panicked. The doctor just held him in his arms, still between my legs and told me, calmly "He's just sleepin'" Well wake him up!!!  That is kind of how Bailey went from then on. A pretty laid back kid for the most part. He liked to eat, he liked to sleep, he liked to play and learned early to walk and crawl

 In my family. It seems that lately all anyone does is bite each others heads off. I know deep down everyone loves one another but what happened to showing it? Sometimes you have to show it.  I try to communicate with my husband and he acts mad. I try to communicate with my fourteen year old and she thinks I am nosy its none of my business. Funny, here I thought it was. I am starting to think I should just shut up.  Life is rough right now. I am certain it could be rougher, but I am also certain it could be so very much easier as well. That is life for you. I know I should not complain but yet, I do. I am human and I complain.  I guess moms should be super human and never think of their own needs or wants, and sometimes I see moms that are that way and I think what a great mother they are, then I wonder how they do it, without taking time for themselves? How do you not just break down?  I feel very broken right now. I need time to myself, I feel like I need more and more time.