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Sometimes I Wonder

 I wonder about God. I wonder how everyone says "God will never give you more than you can handle" I have been given some hurdles in life, and sure, I got through them, but did I really handle them the way they should have been handled? Sometimes I am pretty sure, even though I made it through, it was indeed more, than I could handle.

 The main example of this. My children. Four. Seriously? God? Did you really see in me, someone with the patience for four children? Some days, no, that is a lie, MOST days, I do not feel worthy. Most days I am certain I have failed somewhere  Somehow every day I make a mistake, sure sometimes its a small one, but sometimes its a major one and I wonder... What was God thinking???

 I just hope I guess, on that day that I make my way to the top (I hope I go to the top) that God explains to me exactly what his plan was for me, and I hope he tells me I got it somewhat right, even though I felt like I was messing up 90% of the time.

 So tonight as I lay me down to sleep. I pray that I am not getting more than I can handle and I am handling what I have as well as I am supposed to be.

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