really. I guess I don't.
Its funny. I have left my life on the line, made sacrifices done all the things that all mothers do for their children. I am there. Day after day. I am there. When a ride is needed at 2am. I am called, and I come. When they need a year book, I am asked and I buy it. When they have shoplifted and are getting in trouble, I am there to tell the police the good side of the child. I am there. Day in and day out. No matter what, I am there, I have always been there, and I always will be there.
Other people don't even get gifts to them on time, make empty promises about taking them somewhere and it never happens, send cards that don't come, post cards that don't get mailed, phone calls and text messages even seem to be far and few between. Those people though, they are super man. They do not get accused of not caring.
Maybe if I tried harder NOT to care, it would seem that I cared more? I care. I do care. Does that mean at the drop of a hat, I rearrange my entire day to do something they want... Sometimes, but most the time no. I don't understand this bipolar relationship at all. I just want it to be normal. I don't know what to do, as a mother I feel I fail then other times I think wow... Look at me, I've got it all just right? Yeah. Bipolar.
I try to do my best. I bought a house. I give my kids security. We will be here, not living in some ghetto, or trailer park, moving from house to house when the rent is due. I have a steady job, and my lights don't get shut off nor does my water. Why? For my children. If it was just me, well heck screw the electric, I can live without it a few days, whats the point in building credit, had I not had kids a house would not be so important to me.
I wanted something solid. A life that was steady with routine, and where things were safe. I thought I had done that, and I thought it was enough, but I guess it was not. I am not sure what more I can do. I take on more hours to make more money to pay the ever growing number of wants, and needs, and then people are angry at me, that I am tired or don't want to give a ride here or there, or stay up till 2am when they have friends over.
I cannot do it all, I am not super mom. I can only promise a solid house, with electricity, water, gas, and love. Someone to come to and I guess that is all I can promise, weather its enough or not... Its all I can do.
Its funny. I have left my life on the line, made sacrifices done all the things that all mothers do for their children. I am there. Day after day. I am there. When a ride is needed at 2am. I am called, and I come. When they need a year book, I am asked and I buy it. When they have shoplifted and are getting in trouble, I am there to tell the police the good side of the child. I am there. Day in and day out. No matter what, I am there, I have always been there, and I always will be there.
Other people don't even get gifts to them on time, make empty promises about taking them somewhere and it never happens, send cards that don't come, post cards that don't get mailed, phone calls and text messages even seem to be far and few between. Those people though, they are super man. They do not get accused of not caring.
Maybe if I tried harder NOT to care, it would seem that I cared more? I care. I do care. Does that mean at the drop of a hat, I rearrange my entire day to do something they want... Sometimes, but most the time no. I don't understand this bipolar relationship at all. I just want it to be normal. I don't know what to do, as a mother I feel I fail then other times I think wow... Look at me, I've got it all just right? Yeah. Bipolar.
I try to do my best. I bought a house. I give my kids security. We will be here, not living in some ghetto, or trailer park, moving from house to house when the rent is due. I have a steady job, and my lights don't get shut off nor does my water. Why? For my children. If it was just me, well heck screw the electric, I can live without it a few days, whats the point in building credit, had I not had kids a house would not be so important to me.
I wanted something solid. A life that was steady with routine, and where things were safe. I thought I had done that, and I thought it was enough, but I guess it was not. I am not sure what more I can do. I take on more hours to make more money to pay the ever growing number of wants, and needs, and then people are angry at me, that I am tired or don't want to give a ride here or there, or stay up till 2am when they have friends over.
I cannot do it all, I am not super mom. I can only promise a solid house, with electricity, water, gas, and love. Someone to come to and I guess that is all I can promise, weather its enough or not... Its all I can do.
You rock as a mom, don't forget that. They will realize it one day...and they will realize who doesn't rock, and who doesn't really care.
ReplyDelete