Being a mom. No one ever told me it was going to be easy. Of course I don' think I even had time to ask, in my defense. I knew it would not be easy, I knew there would be stinky diapers and teething and tummy troubles... What I did not know was that my child(ren) would turn into teenagers and have to deal with real world problems that would then become my problems as well. No one even tells you about things that far ahead, when they give you the "warnings" they warn of things that happen within the first year of life, or maybe the "terrible twos". Yeah. I am saying give me a room full of those so called "terrible" two year old's. I can deal with that no problem.
The teenage years, which might I mention I am JUST starting to go through, and with only my first... Have already got me craving a padded white room and straight jacket. Its so bi polar the relationship between a teen and her mother. One day were friends, we laugh, we joke, she will even tell me a secret or two. The next day I am nosy and mean, and she wishes she were never born. Bipolar, its the only word I can think of for the relationship I share with my teen.
Then there is my "tween" who recently promised to always keep me informed of her life and be my friend... She is already closing that open door, locking it with her hormonal key only to unlock it when she feels like it. Not quite as bad, but having gone down this path once before, I see it. I see the change, and I know, what is coming. Its no surprise this time.
Oh motherhood, if nothing else it makes you look back at your mother, and want to kiss her toes, mow her lawn, do her grocery shopping and whatever else she might need done... to try, and make up for all the shit you now realize you put her through.
My mom swears I was an angel, she even tells my kids I was. This I know was not true. I think my mom had blinders on by the time I was a teen... She was off in her own world with an abusive relationship that got out of hand on many occasions. I think somewhere we kind of switched places, and I almost took care of her. When I was not taking care of her, I was being a teenager, but if nothing else I was always honest with her about where I had been what I had been doing and kept her informed of my life. We had more of a friendship, than a mother daughter (bipolar) relationship. It was a good thing, but also not so much I guess. I don't know.
I remember being a teen, thinking many times what was the point in me being there, wishing I had never been born. It was not because of my mom,or anything really. Just a woe is me thing you go through I guess as a hormonal attention seeking teenager. Yet when my child does it, I feel guilt. I also feel like one day, when she has children she will be over here, mowing my lawn, helping me clean, planting flowers and telling me how much she loves me.... then asking me to PLEASE babysit before she needs a padded room to stay in.
I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life!!!
The teenage years, which might I mention I am JUST starting to go through, and with only my first... Have already got me craving a padded white room and straight jacket. Its so bi polar the relationship between a teen and her mother. One day were friends, we laugh, we joke, she will even tell me a secret or two. The next day I am nosy and mean, and she wishes she were never born. Bipolar, its the only word I can think of for the relationship I share with my teen.
Then there is my "tween" who recently promised to always keep me informed of her life and be my friend... She is already closing that open door, locking it with her hormonal key only to unlock it when she feels like it. Not quite as bad, but having gone down this path once before, I see it. I see the change, and I know, what is coming. Its no surprise this time.
Oh motherhood, if nothing else it makes you look back at your mother, and want to kiss her toes, mow her lawn, do her grocery shopping and whatever else she might need done... to try, and make up for all the shit you now realize you put her through.
My mom swears I was an angel, she even tells my kids I was. This I know was not true. I think my mom had blinders on by the time I was a teen... She was off in her own world with an abusive relationship that got out of hand on many occasions. I think somewhere we kind of switched places, and I almost took care of her. When I was not taking care of her, I was being a teenager, but if nothing else I was always honest with her about where I had been what I had been doing and kept her informed of my life. We had more of a friendship, than a mother daughter (bipolar) relationship. It was a good thing, but also not so much I guess. I don't know.
I remember being a teen, thinking many times what was the point in me being there, wishing I had never been born. It was not because of my mom,or anything really. Just a woe is me thing you go through I guess as a hormonal attention seeking teenager. Yet when my child does it, I feel guilt. I also feel like one day, when she has children she will be over here, mowing my lawn, helping me clean, planting flowers and telling me how much she loves me.... then asking me to PLEASE babysit before she needs a padded room to stay in.
I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life!!!
poor Clorie
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