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Memories...

 Why is it that our brain can hold on to certain things, and replay them for us, nearly as clear as a movie played on the TV... While other things, like where you left your keys, escape you moments after they are done?

 I can remember the births of my babies, like they were yesterday. That moment I first laid eyes on them. The first smiles I got, the first steps, I can play them all back in my mind, and relive them nearly... Like yesterday as they say.

 Then there are the not so great moments, that play back, almost like nightmares they are so real, and so much like just yesterday. The doctor telling us they think our son has cancer... Even though at the time, it seemed like the world stopped and went fuzzy, and at that exact moment all I can remember doing is praying... I can now relive EVERY word the doctor said to us. I can relive the long ride, reading that first paper about chemo, and all the side effects, signing that sheet that said I understood when really... I did not understand at all.

 Seeing Tim's mother, after she'd passed away at her funeral. A big thing for me, a very hard time to watch my husband go though, and also at the same time, it was also a first for me, dealing with a death of someone so close, and the whole funeral experience. I can relive all that, a nightmare in my mind.

 It comes back to me at the oddest moments too. the happy memories only seem to pop in when you want them, the scary ones.. They tend to just come back and smack you in the face at the oddest of times... Damn memories. A blessing and a curse.

 Also your very first memory. I do not think anyone I know has a first memory that is all that important of an event. So why does that moment stand out in your mind, your very first memorable moment?

 Mine? I was about three. My mom had just taken me to her boyfriends house (who would soon be my adopted dad) I remember his apartment was dark and there was a folding chair I sat in, and it folded up on me, it scared me, and he laughed.

 I can remember crying when my balloon floated away when I accidentally let go of the string. Going to my grandmas and her pulling out snacks and telling me we could have a "junk food party". Funny how only certain things, nothing really all that major stand out.

 Then I can be driving my van, be almost to work, and forget what song was playing when I left the driveway. Its just so crazy how the mind works.

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