Oh boy. So yesterday was a day. I had parent conferences with Destiny's teachers in the morning. Not just the homeroom teacher, but EVERY. CORE. TEACHER. She has, and also one of the school counselors. We started off with them telling me how Destiny is all about the social aspect of school. She comes in to class ready to chit chat and be seen and heard. Funny how she's become this social butterfly. I remember in kindergarten when I was thinking of switching schools, my biggest problem with doing so was that she had JUST made friends and i would be taking that away from her. Or in preschool when she would not even PLAY with other children for at least 3 months. The first month she did nothing but cry and for the next 2, she stuck close by the teachers, until finally she made a friend, and learned to spell the friends name, before her own.
Back then she was so willing to learn. I could get her a workbook and she would finish it within that day. Front to back. Where did things change so much?
About second grade, I was told she had no comprehension of what she would read. We tried to work on that, but I guess not hard enough. She always did not so great, but still did it. I just let that go I guess.
Now in Middle school, things got serious and she did not. Grades slipped, and she told me it was the teachers there, see in the small charter school they have the same teachers year after year in MS. So this year we made the leap to a "real" public school. At first I thought AH AH that was the problem. Her grades were very good, and she was enjoying school, the best of both worlds!!!
Then the real work started I guess. Missing assignments, 0% I would tell her she would insist they had been turned in.... At this meeting, I found for sure that is not true. A Z means it was never turned in. I knew that, but I let her lie to me.
Her teachers said she does not care, she simply does. not. care. about her grades. They pulled her into our meeting and the counselor explained to her it just gets harder, that she needs to do well now, for High school. He asked her if she planned to graduate High School and my child, said "I don't know." WHAT?
Now she's a good kid. Sure she is a snot, and messy. She cares, though. She is nice to people, she is mature when she needs to be, and for the most part she will make a great adult, but how can she just simply NOT care about her future??? I know when your a kid you live for today, but how do I instill in her to live for tomorrow too? Where exactly did I go wrong here?
My other 3 children, they are not the same, at all. Promise can pass a test without even opening the book. She loves to read, and studies on her own, although, thruthfully she could use more study time as well. Bailey struggles, but he has learned to read VERY well, and will read a book or so a week on his own, he sits in class, listens well and is always adored by teachers for his behavior. Hannah, that girl BEGS for homework. LOVES to read and so on.
So where did I go wrong with Destiny? She was the one I was at home with those first 2 crucial years. The one who knew every part of her body by 9 months, every animal sound at a year and a half. Her colors, numbers letters she knew all that BEFORE entering Kindergarten. She could spell her name, and cut and paste and do it all.... Why did things change? Is it because she's "cool" now and that takes top priority?
So instead of wondering where I went wrong. I have decided to try to do better. from school pick up until 4pm is now study time. For all the kids. Not just Destiny. I expected more rebellion, but so far, not too bad. Of course its been one day and they all probably think I will "forget" soon. This I am not forgetting.
Yesterday we went to the library. Promise did her book report and Destiny wrote her essay on her life without electricity. As soon as 4pm rolled over, and her phone was usable "Text me!!!" was her facebook status. <<>>
I did squeeze in a bit more study later, over an apple snack. We did vocab words, she has a test today and I would really like to see an improvement on it. I want her to want to get decent grades, I want her to care. I want her to MAKE something of her life. Being popular is not going to cut it. You get in a wreck and in a wheelchair your no longer cool. Smash your face up, get a huge zit, accidently shit yourself, popularity can go down the toilet faster than it came... So lets not waste all our time on that.
I have also told her I will tollerate NO more Z papers. If I see another not turned in paper her phone is gone, for the semester. and I mean this. Half the stuff she did not turn in, is done, in her locker, maybe not finished, but more than ZERO!!!! I have tried and tried to get her to understand that as well. Its like I am speaking to a wall, a non caring, who gives a shit, wall. :O/
So I hope its not too late with the others, and this habit will get them staying on the correct path, and lead Destiny to the right one. She's a beautiful, smart, funny, wonderful girl. I love her, and I want the world for her.
Back then she was so willing to learn. I could get her a workbook and she would finish it within that day. Front to back. Where did things change so much?
About second grade, I was told she had no comprehension of what she would read. We tried to work on that, but I guess not hard enough. She always did not so great, but still did it. I just let that go I guess.
Now in Middle school, things got serious and she did not. Grades slipped, and she told me it was the teachers there, see in the small charter school they have the same teachers year after year in MS. So this year we made the leap to a "real" public school. At first I thought AH AH that was the problem. Her grades were very good, and she was enjoying school, the best of both worlds!!!
Then the real work started I guess. Missing assignments, 0% I would tell her she would insist they had been turned in.... At this meeting, I found for sure that is not true. A Z means it was never turned in. I knew that, but I let her lie to me.
Her teachers said she does not care, she simply does. not. care. about her grades. They pulled her into our meeting and the counselor explained to her it just gets harder, that she needs to do well now, for High school. He asked her if she planned to graduate High School and my child, said "I don't know." WHAT?
Now she's a good kid. Sure she is a snot, and messy. She cares, though. She is nice to people, she is mature when she needs to be, and for the most part she will make a great adult, but how can she just simply NOT care about her future??? I know when your a kid you live for today, but how do I instill in her to live for tomorrow too? Where exactly did I go wrong here?
My other 3 children, they are not the same, at all. Promise can pass a test without even opening the book. She loves to read, and studies on her own, although, thruthfully she could use more study time as well. Bailey struggles, but he has learned to read VERY well, and will read a book or so a week on his own, he sits in class, listens well and is always adored by teachers for his behavior. Hannah, that girl BEGS for homework. LOVES to read and so on.
So where did I go wrong with Destiny? She was the one I was at home with those first 2 crucial years. The one who knew every part of her body by 9 months, every animal sound at a year and a half. Her colors, numbers letters she knew all that BEFORE entering Kindergarten. She could spell her name, and cut and paste and do it all.... Why did things change? Is it because she's "cool" now and that takes top priority?
So instead of wondering where I went wrong. I have decided to try to do better. from school pick up until 4pm is now study time. For all the kids. Not just Destiny. I expected more rebellion, but so far, not too bad. Of course its been one day and they all probably think I will "forget" soon. This I am not forgetting.
Yesterday we went to the library. Promise did her book report and Destiny wrote her essay on her life without electricity. As soon as 4pm rolled over, and her phone was usable "Text me!!!" was her facebook status. <<
I did squeeze in a bit more study later, over an apple snack. We did vocab words, she has a test today and I would really like to see an improvement on it. I want her to want to get decent grades, I want her to care. I want her to MAKE something of her life. Being popular is not going to cut it. You get in a wreck and in a wheelchair your no longer cool. Smash your face up, get a huge zit, accidently shit yourself, popularity can go down the toilet faster than it came... So lets not waste all our time on that.
I have also told her I will tollerate NO more Z papers. If I see another not turned in paper her phone is gone, for the semester. and I mean this. Half the stuff she did not turn in, is done, in her locker, maybe not finished, but more than ZERO!!!! I have tried and tried to get her to understand that as well. Its like I am speaking to a wall, a non caring, who gives a shit, wall. :O/
So I hope its not too late with the others, and this habit will get them staying on the correct path, and lead Destiny to the right one. She's a beautiful, smart, funny, wonderful girl. I love her, and I want the world for her.
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