The oddly normal life of Clorie

 How is it going? Its going. The world is still spinning.  I joined a gym. The kids and I. A week ago Monday, I have been three times, but once was just to tan. I feel motivated to lose the weight I let myself regain somehow.   Our mortgage is going up. Already. This was unexpected. With our home warranty almost at an end I start to get nervous. The garbage disposal broke, and I fixed it myself... Neither Tim or I are very handy, but all I can say is THANK GOD for online tutorials....  Life. Its just life. I am stressing it, but at the same time I am trying to just be a duck... Life is hard!  So there is bills to pay, fun things to do, stressful situations, and fighting kids. Same ol' same ol right? Nothings changed yet nothing is the same. Life. Lovely lovely life.

 Why is it that our brain can hold on to certain things, and replay them for us, nearly as clear as a movie played on the TV... While other things, like where you left your keys, escape you moments after they are done?  I can remember the births of my babies, like they were yesterday. That moment I first laid eyes on them. The first smiles I got, the first steps, I can play them all back in my mind, and relive them nearly... Like yesterday as they say.  Then there are the not so great moments, that play back, almost like nightmares they are so real, and so much like just yesterday. The doctor telling us they think our son has cancer... Even though at the time, it seemed like the world stopped and went fuzzy, and at that exact moment all I can remember doing is praying... I can now relive EVERY word the doctor said to us. I can relive the long ride, reading that first paper about chemo, and all the side effects, signing that sheet that said I understood when really......

 Between right and wrong. That is our main job/goal as a parent. To teach your children the value of what is right and what is wrong. Though life everyone does things that are wrong. It does not mean that the parents did not teach it to them though... Although when they do wrong, especially when they do very wrong.... The parents are the ones that take the blame, blame themselves, and wonder what they did wrong, or how they could have done better.  Tonight I am in that situation. I feel like a fuck up, failure of a mother. Apparently I have not taught well enough, the value of a dollar, of being honest, and of owning up to a mistake when you make one... We all make mistakes and I know that. It just totally sucks when you make them, or when your children make them. You want to go in and just erase it and you cannot.  Today life really just plain sucks. One day I will look back at this and it not seem like as big of a deal as it is now... probably when they do something...

 Because I am certain it would not be a lie. :)  What has been going on with me? I survived spring break. Parent teacher meetings. A week at home with kids. A week at work with kids calling/texting me right at noon. Yep. I survived it. Looking back on it now, it was not even that bad. Oddly enough everyone got along FAIRLY well. I was a taxi minimal amounts of time. All was well with the world.  This week school is back. I cannot say I am displeased. They get Friday off this week, which I think is plain silly but whatever.  Work has been going well, and at home I have been PAINTING! I love it. Its hard work,and it takes a long time when you cannot just drop everything and do nothing but paint. Yeah would you believe I am still expected to work, get kids from school, make dinner and do my normal household chores ALL while trying to paint??? Yeah. Crazy.  Oh and Monday. Monday my son learned what a "boner" was. Thanks to another little boy in school. Great...

 My daughter, my oldest, the one I am a taxi for has had a ride to AND FROM several places where she was supposed to catch a ride home from this week. The library, she said she had a ride home, then the ride "left without her". The mall, I told her she'd be picked up by Tim when he got off work, and they were COLD and her friend had FLIP FLOPS on and no one came to the mall so can I get them now... She stayed the night at a friends and instead of waiting for friends mom to bring her home, she HAD to be picked up by 1 so she could go to a friends...  That friends? She was supposed to walk HOME from and she called for a ride.  So today it was lovely out. 65 or so out, sunny. School was out and Tim had to get the other kids first, as he stayed for a play Hannah was in... Well he did not pick up Destiny. I told her she could walk. For 30 min. I am NOT KIDDING 30 MIN. She sent him and I text after text asking to pick her up.  PLEASE I will clean, I cleaned my room, it...

 Last night I managed to somehow get rid of all but one child. Then that one child invited a friend over. They were up until about 2am. When I went out to make them turn off the wii Hannah told me "But, were staying up all night!" Uh no no your not!!! HA. About 20 seconds after telling them they could stay up but had to lay down, they were out cold. Silly girls.  So this morning, to mourn my lost hour from daylight savings, I wanted to just be lazy and stay in bed. I could hear the girls up, but with just the two of them, what harm could there be? They are good little girls. Hannah at one point asked if she could make kool-aid and I told her that was alright. So I heard clanging, dishwasher opening dishes rattling... I thought it sounded like more than Kool-aid, but whatever, I was being lazy, remember? Nothing was being broken and no one was crying, so there was no reason to hop out of bed!  A while after the clanging stopped, in walks my daughter and her little cur...

 I cannot be super mom everyday. Its just not possible. Thursday was a hard day. Fell at work, dropped stuff all over, just generally blah. So I bought candy, soda and rented movies. I wanted to do nothing the rest of the day, like my husband had done all day before he went to work.  Of course my nothing still included making dinner. BLT's. Apparently Destiny does not like BLT's " I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE MOM, YOU REMEMBER" so super mom failed again, the running list of what kid likes what and what kid hates what, left my mind and I made an unacceptable meal once again.  I think I am giving up for a while. Mac and cheese, hot dogs, sloppy joes, ect. that is what I will make the kids. I will cook MYSELF only what I like and they can have unhealthy processed crap that they like, it will be cheaper and less waste. My super mom days are over.