Skip to main content

It's cute

It's cute how I used to think this barely holding it together feeling was temporary.

So blogs. I can never focus on it. I want to keep a running log of this crazy life and then the craziness makes that impossible or seem so.

In May, 2 months ago I got divorced. Just shy of 17 years married it was final. It was ultimately my choice, I paid for it, and I'm not at all unhappy I did it. However that does not in any way, shape, or form mean that it was EASY for me. It's still not easy.

Let's just start with this evening for example. Son has friends over and wants to play his video game. However we have 1 tv and it's in the girls room. He had a monitor a while back and smashed it when he got angry btw.

So he finds someone to loan him a monitor and now he needs a jump drive to update said game. It's 10pm I work at 8. I'm in bed  but I look for a jump drive. Can't find one. Sorry. Then the wifi won't work well it's out power won't come on to it  not much I can do. Agian sorry.

I get back into bed and he comes and tells me that "I am still his son" And I shouldn't be treating him different now that I and his dad are separated. I ask how I'm treating him different and he has no examples to give.

Does anyone call Dad and make him feel like an asshole? was he messing with the wifi or looking for a jump drive or running you to Walmart or any of that??? nope.

So here I now sit at 11pm feeling like a peice of shit once again. Some days I feel good.... So fucking good. I never regret the choice I've made but shit sometimes I feel like a microwaved dog turd on a stick.

I'm sorry I cant fix the wifi and I won't be able to until payday either if I can then. Sucks. I'm sorry you can't play your game with your friends.... Meanwhile I'll get another 5 hours of sleep and work the next 13 days in a row to make sure the lights water and gas stay on.... You're welcome.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes I Wonder

 I wonder about God. I wonder how everyone says "God will never give you more than you can handle" I have been given some hurdles in life, and sure, I got through them, but did I really handle them the way they should have been handled? Sometimes I am pretty sure, even though I made it through, it was indeed more, than I could handle.  The main example of this. My children. Four. Seriously? God? Did you really see in me, someone with the patience for four children? Some days, no, that is a lie, MOST days, I do not feel worthy. Most days I am certain I have failed somewhere  Somehow every day I make a mistake, sure sometimes its a small one, but sometimes its a major one and I wonder... What was God thinking???  I just hope I guess, on that day that I make my way to the top (I hope I go to the top) that God explains to me exactly what his plan was for me, and I hope he tells me I got it somewhat right, even though I felt like I was messing up 90% of the time.  So tonig
2 comments
Read more

Ready to go....

Pawlie goes in tomorrow for his big surgery. His rear left leg is going to be amputated. I never in my life thought I would agree to spend so much damn money on an animal, but besides his leg he is JUST fine. He's not a horse! He should not have to be put down because of a bum leg right? It just seemed wrong. So luckily we were able to put this on credit and get it done and save his life.  Tomorrow at 7:30 if you can, think of Mr. Pawlie and the Dr. doing his amputation. I hope it all goes well, and he can bounce back to the damn cat that only loves Tim and not me :OP~~
1 comment
Read more

Sleep IN Sundays!!!

My kids know this rule. For the most part. Sundays Mama sleeps in. Get yourself cereal, be quiet and get along... Then I go and do something foolish, like allow 3 of 4 kids to have a friend over, which makes SEVEN kids in one house. One of which, apparently did NOT know the sleep in Sunday rule, even in the SLIGHTEST :o/ Of course when one kid wakes up, or at least this kid wakes up. ALL the kids are up. This did, help my ease of getting them all in bed this evening, but even so! ACK! The weekend went well. We spent time together at the park. All but Destiny of course, who has her own life now. I took some pictures I really liked. I am too lazy to post them here. If you want to see them you can go here. www.flickr.com/clorissasue Anyway that is all I have for now. I started a new blog, you can see it here . It will be for cooking, and recipes and such. This one will be kept for kids and life and bitching :) Just what I needed. Something more to do :)
1 comment
Read more