Crying over all I have left....

Yesterday I ran around a bit with my mom, and the kids... Bailey told us about a dream he'd had the night before, he drove by papa Dons and he was in his back yard, stopped Bailey to get a hug and chat.... I was instantly jealous. I wished that had been my dream. I wish I could really have that. Just one last time, just enough time to make sure he knew what he meant to me all these years, and how much he taught me. Just a quick hug and chat.

The other day at Hannah's award ceremony (all A honor roll GO HANNAH) I saw a family member who asked about my mom, and her new husband... Then mentioned how she'd never met Don and from what she'd heard she was grateful for it. This hurt too, but both times I was able to keep myself emotionless. So last night at home, something made me think of Don and there I was a blubbering mess. Tim has no clue what my issue is and I can't seem to say it out loud. I miss Don. I don't know why I can say it online but not out loud. I have issues. Whats new.

So tonight after cooking I got out by bag of spices he'd mixed up for me, for a roast. I never did make the roast, and the bag of spices is all I have left of him. So I held it and I cried and I opened it and closed it knowing I was touching where he had. Is it odd that I still miss him so much after this long? Is it odd that I don't want to admit it out to people who know me closely. Probably. I am odd.

On lighter notes I painted my bathroom and its BEAUTIFUL :) I am very happy with how it turned out! Work is drama filled and slower than usual. Parent teacher conferences are tomorrow and I guess that's all I have to update about besides my woh is me stuff. Sorry about that.

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Its not always 50/50

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The oddly normal life of Clorie

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