Too big for kisses

I remember when the kids were little. How going somewhere new, they did not want to let go of mama's hand. They were scared the entire time that I was going to leave, which to them was apparently the end of the world. I remember tears on the first day of school, the first sleepover... I remember the hugs and kisses goodbye before the left, and I remember when I was the one having the problem leaving them "BYE, MOM" they would say. Then suddenly tables had turned and I was the one that wanted to stay with them, just a moment longer...

Tonight Bailey had a scout meeting. Normally daddy goes with, and stays. Tonight though daddy was at work. "You sure you will be okay if I drop you off???" I asked Bailey. "YEP." No problems, although he was biting his nails a little like maybe he was nervous. Just a bit. "You just gonna drop me off out here mom?" He asked. I walked him in... When I left him at the doors I asked for a kiss. I got a hug. "Oh, too big to hug me now, I forgot" He turned to walk away, and then quickly when no one was looking, he gave me a smooch....

Tonight I realized how much I miss my babies. My not talking back, missed me every moment I was gone, loved me more than anyone else, universe revolves around mama babies. I came home from dropping off the boy and I sat in my car and I mourned the loss of my babies. I am thankful that they are growing and becoming tweens, teens, whatever, but man I miss my babies.

No more hugs, and kisses whenever I want them. Peek a boo no longer makes them laugh. I am a grown up and I do not know anything, I am mean, I make rules and half the time they hate me. I wish, for just one day I could go back and squeeze those baby cheeks.

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The oddly normal life of Clorie

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