The oddly normal life of Clorie

If you knew I had bad days If you knew I ate cereal in the tub while I cried? If you heard me sing when I thought no one was listening?  If you saw me dancing when I thought no one was looking?   If you heard the things I tell myself?  Would you love me anyway? 

Single life. Well not so much single but divirced... It's been a change. I go out more I'm finding who I am. I am realizing I like me more than I thought I did. I've met someone, I know already? It wasn't in my plans to get involved in anything serious. I joined an online dating site and I got some hits (lots of hits) it's a woman's world in there! Anyway I went in a few dates and a few second dates. One second date was terrible, one was okay and one was.... NSFWOK well just say. My plan was to just date and have fun and go out and enjoy myself but I have found myself doing all that, for sure, but always with the same person... Then it happened we chose to only see each other... I mean I'd only been seeing him anyway and he I. So why not. I still go out, I'm still enjoying myself (so Much) I'm laughing and I'm motivated and I'm happy... I am so flipping happy right now. My house is falling apart and spewing shot nearly literally... ...

It's cute how I used to think this barely holding it together feeling was temporary. So blogs. I can never focus on it. I want to keep a running log of this crazy life and then the craziness makes that impossible or seem so. In May, 2 months ago I got divorced. Just shy of 17 years married it was final. It was ultimately my choice, I paid for it, and I'm not at all unhappy I did it. However that does not in any way, shape, or form mean that it was EASY for me. It's still not easy. Let's just start with this evening for example. Son has friends over and wants to play his video game. However we have 1 tv and it's in the girls room. He had a monitor a while back and smashed it when he got angry btw. So he finds someone to loan him a monitor and now he needs a jump drive to update said game. It's 10pm I work at 8. I'm in bed  but I look for a jump drive. Can't find one. Sorry. Then the wifi won't work well it's out power won't come on to it...

so I posted the other day I'm going to try gluten free for my psoriasis. after a recent strep infection and round of antibiotics my psoriasis has flared up big time. coming back in places it has not been in over a year. itchy and my feet ache and my hands hurt with what should be simple tasks such as using tongs while grilling out. I told myself I'd start for really real on 8/1 but I really started and have stuck to it since about a week ago. at first I thought o was noticing improvement already, and I was excited but i have new areas today and I am itchier than ever! ugh! I've also been an emotional wreck, ugly crying at least 3x in the past week (it's also PMS week but I'm not normally such a cry baby) so I'm not sure what's going on but I'm going to stick it out for at least 30 days. I read it can take 60 so if I see ANY improvement in 30 I'll likely keep going. I am also looking into other things that will help my gut health, since antibiot...

and then never blog agian until I blog saying how I'm going to blog agian! sounds about right. life is busy. me time has not been happening. gym nope. photography nope. it's not that I dont have time, because I do. I just don't make the time. I need to. so few weeks ago. got strep throat antibiotics and BAM my skin/joint issues flared up. bad. I'm stiff sore dry and ugly. so I'm going to try to be gluten free. I love bread guys and pasta. I have to get thos crap under control though and some research suggests it helps and it certainly IS NOT going to hurt me so here goes. I started today but will count my actual start date as 9/1 b: coffee and cream, watermelon and a string cheese l: zucchini cheesey casserole hamburger patty with lettuce other veggies and mustard s: caramello [I said gluten free not healthy] d: subway spicy Italian with provolone, no bread with lots of veggies and mayo also veggie straws happy to find they are gluten free! so say 1 wen...

I should just blog about potty stuff. I've got some bathroom stories for y'all! remember being a mom and never getting a moment to yourself EVER like even on the toilet someone is either in there, at the door,fighting outside it, or knocking "can you do this for me?"  meanwhile dad is in the lazy chair with a beer doing NOTHING but the kids don't even notice him. well mine are teens now so I often get toilet time to myself it's one luxury of raising them up. however tonight visiting my oldest I went potty and under the crack of the door was a little boogie hand and wiggly fingers " mah-mah what doing? " shes not the only one glued up my ass today but I'll save that for another day!

A year ago today my best friend gave birth to her second little boy. TWO years ago tomorrow my first granddaughter was born. Both seem like yesterday, but also so long ago. Two years in a row almost on the same day I got to watch the miracle of life happen... I have done it myself four times, but it never ceases to amaze me. To watch it is just amazing that our body does that. GROWS someone in side of us and then gets that someone OUT. Just amazing. Life is stressing me out right now however, I am trying to take this weekend to just tune out anything and everything that is getting to me, just have fun, go to birthday parties, eat cake and not worrry. Not worry about bills or calories or my steps (I even took my fit bit off) Just be me, just enjoy what there is in life to enjoy. My amazing friends, and my crazy family and the hot summer weather.

you never know when it's going to rain!  the best purchase I've made is an umbrella that fits inside my purse. my purse is always on me and there for so is my umbrella! saved me this afternoon on my lunch break! speaking of rain do you have to tell your husband if you've made a dr appointment? especially annoying if YOU HAVE already. Hey darling tomorrow afternoon another mans gonna be checking out my girlie bits k? Its Tuesday which means I have survived another Monday just barely but survived.

I used to blog all the time. Not because I had 10000 followers, I am pretty sure I had maybe 2, and one was likely my mom.... I blogged because I liked to have them to look back on and remember things, I blogged because it is kind of a way to just get whatever out and off my chest. I blogged because I enjoyed it. Lately I feel like I have forgotten myself. Forgotten to take the time out for the things I enjoy. For photography, for blogging for whatever else interests me. What even interests me anymore? I went to a full time job, which is on a computer so I guess partly I don't want to come home after 8 hours at a desk and type and stare at a screen some more. Both blogging and photos require screen time. Maybe that is part of why I have not been doing it. My kids are bigger, not so many funny memories with them, two have moved out and 2 wish they could (2.5 more years) but I have grand kids now yes Grand Kids My oldest just had her second little girl, and let me tell you THEY...

So today I was cleaning my sliding glass doors. I remember cleaning handprints and thinking to myself "I can't wait until they don't stick their messy hands on everything" Fast forward to today. I notice all I'm cleaning off is dog nose prints. No more tiny handprints... and then I remember the handprint on my mother in laws door from her grandson. I commented on it and she told me she wasn't going to wash it off. It was cute. THAT IS WHY being a grandma is awesome! All those tiny irritating (and oh so cute) moments that happened daily and drove you nuts...  well now you realize how much they should be cherished, and you realize how enjoyable they are.... and you can send them away when they get cranky. I still think I am far too young looking to be called grandma, but I'm looking forward to it. 26 weeks!

So I quit my server job back in October. I cried so hard my head almost popped off. I had no idea what I would do with my life and I was so upset. Here it is February and I don't miss waiting tables at all. In fact when we go out to eat I'm always like... wow. How did I love this so much? Honestly I loved the customers and the friendships I'd made... but I think it was just routine and what I thought I loved. I work in an office now. Just over a month. I can't say that I LOVE it. But I don't hate it. The money is steady, the hours are always the same and I have sick days and will get paid vacation next year. PAID to not work a full 5 days! The kids have done well with the change. They are bigger now and don't need me home the moment they are home from school. So I guess things really did work out. Speaking of working out, that is one thing I do miss... the calorie burn from all those daily steps! I feel like I don't have a lot of extra time for the...

I remember hearing it SO much in a day I almost wished I wouldn't hear it again. I remember never having a moment to myself  (not even to pee or bathe) I remember wishing for just one minute to myself that wasn't still spent somehow dealing with the kids.  Those moments I've wished for, they're here.  I get home from 9 hours of work and no one runs to the door. If I'm lucky someone will ask what I'm cooking and when it's going to be ready before slinking back off into the bedroom, closing the door, and blaring the music...  So tonight I took a bath. I used to BEG for just ONE UNINTERRUPTED bath... tonight as I was shaving hard to reach areas and spread in odd directions in the tub there was a knock.  "Are you almost done mama?" It was my son my baby boy who's now taller than me... he wanted me to "tickle his back" to help him fall asleep. Give me a moment (I grinned ear to ear) finished what I could reach without learning yoga, ...

I'm not even sure how long of a while, but it seems like forever since I've blogged. The other day my time hop on facebook  brought me back to a blog I'd written years ago (and something I'd have forgotten otherwise) and I was thinking how glad I was to have my blogs.  Things that were crazy, or stressful then are great memories now! Then I realized the crap were going through as a family right now, might be the same 10 years from now so I must continue. I must chronical this oddly normal life of mine. Odder yet now that, come Saturday I will have ALL TEENAGERS.

My middle child just got a job. Car hop at sonic. I'm hopeful she does great. She's saving for a car. My son has armpit hair and the start of a mustache which trips me out. My baby girl (she'll kill me for this) started her period... today she woke up and came to the living room.  Good morning I say... "I want chocolate. How long does a period last. I don't like it....do we have chocolate?" Ah the joys of womanhood.

 Some days I hate my job. My boss can be hard to work for. The company seems to not appreciate me the way I feel I should be appreciated.... But then I have my customers. The ones that ask for me, ask how my kids are, tell me about their lives, or just seem to like having me wait on them.  Every holiday people tend to be a little extra generous a time or two and I ALWAYS appreciate it. It helps me buy gifts for my family around this time... It also helps keep up with the bills because business tends to slow down around the holidays, and my dear husbands job lays him off a while around now every year.  So that being said. We are going to be spending Christmas at home, Christmas eve is at the in laws, and I was kind of wondering where I would come up with money for the traditional ham. Now we have a chicken I could make, but the kids like tradition, and traditionally we have a ham...  Today I made very nice tips. Quite a few people left more than the usual I am c...

One night a month a friend has started a ladies night. So far I've attended 2. 6 ish to 10 ish so 4 hours of girl time. Non mom time. Me time. 4 hours...a MONTH. Mind you a normal evening at my house is me.... cooking dinner. Playing on my phone. Chatting on the phone. Cleaning. Maybe doing a craft or wrapping presents or doing photography tutorials while my children are in their bedrooms doors shut earphones in. The only difference tonight. I was not in the house...and I did not cook dinner.  You would have thought I left a couple 2 year Olds home alone.  Everyone went to bed hungry because I was not here to feed them....and the hubby asked "how many girls nights are you going to have". For real? When I do cook...half the time it's only picked at and complained about. I guess I should be thankful I was obviously "missed " there for I guess I'm loved. Oh yes and I tried to loop arms with the boy on our way into walmart...he pulled away as though ...

Like 3x a week my son will Facebook message me. Please come get me. Get me early. It's like he's in jail or something!  Poor kid. He gets what 2 weeks off here in just a few. Hang in there boy! My baby is almost 12. I want to cry. Time flies.

Life has been crazy. One kid has moved out...and honestly done much better than I'd ever expected.  Rides here and there....and her laundry is currently being washed here.... but she's making it.... on her own. I'm very proud. On the home front.... I have a teenage girl about to drive ALONE. ...teenage boy who wants ABS and is growing a mustache and has armpit hair 7 inches long....and my baby who has chosen to become one of them.... she is full on teenage hormonal girl and I am scared for my life and her own almost daily. Christmas looms around the corner as does my husband's impending 6 week lay off. Bills are piling up and my new years resolutions are to never spend another dime on anything we don't  NEED... see above list of children and know that will be highly unlikely. I really want to try to blog more often.  My kids do funny shit and one day I'll be too old to remember any of it.

  S o yesterday my son, my ONLY son... Sent me a facebook massage, hey mom... guess what? Uh... what... "K" and I kissed. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! So a little back story. 2 or maybe almost 3 years ago, when my son met "K" he liked her. He was SCARED to death of her he liked her so much. She was Hannah's friend, and anytime he'd see her he would RUN. FF a few days until he found out she liked him as well. They started "dating" I think they "Dated" for quite some time, with a few minor break ups, one because he was being a jerk when his friends were around...   but this girls name was carved on his skateboard... You know stuffs serious!  Anyway things didn't work out. He would NOT kiss her. LOL. They were on the ferris wheel stuck up top, and he would not kiss her... I think she got discouraged and broke up with him, either way they remained friends. All was well with the world. Hannah and her remain "Besties" to th...

 So were grown ups now. With jobs we've had for years, a home we own and credit. Credit is both a good and bad thing. Credit has allowed me to get my fillings done at the dentist when I'd already used all my insurance. Credit has helped us get our home, and things we didn't really need maybe but wanted really bad.  So for a while now our washer has been making this God awful sound as it stops and starts back up on the spin cycle... I am honestly shocked it's still working since it was SEVERAL months ago Destiny called me at the store telling me the washer was SMOKING. I assumed she meant dryer, but when I got home indeed the washer was bellowing rubber smelling smoke throughout the house. After that we used smaller loads and it makes that sound... but somehow continued to work!  So this weekend, the dryer just stopped getting hot. It spins and all that, but as you well know without heat, it doesn't really DRY anything. I contemplated a used dryer again, what we...